Awkward things.

Confessions of a Procrastinator

on February 17, 2013

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I have to admit something… I’m a bit of a fantasist. Now I know that’s not surprising for a writer and it’s definitely not a bad thing, but sometimes in life, I let it get the best of me. For example, because of my slender grip on reality, I like to imagine that I am a bestselling author, successful screenwriter and am bosom buddies with Neil Gaiman. This may seem harmless enough, but when reality comes along and smacks me in the face with a knuckleduster, it kind of hurts.

Admission number two… (I know, I know, it’s like the Jerry Springer show today,) I wasn’t cool in school, another thing that isn’t surprising, if you have even the slightest inkling of my Care Bears obsession and love of carbs. Being little miss lame in high school and living on another planet, I always had the ill-advised but unshakeable belief that I would shock my peers and become a billion times more successful than their tiny minds could even imagine. Turns out that reality doesn’t like me.

My third admission… I Facebook stalk the people that I hated in high school. On a happy note, their lives suck and they are pleasingly covered in baby poo. The bad news is that the people that I was indifferent towards are very bloody successful. I don’t know why I’m taking this so badly, it’s not that I dislike them and wish to see them bathed in the bodily fluids of ugly alien creatures, it’s just that I’m not successful and they are. That sucks. But while my screen is glaring at me and I’m deep into my book-signing fantasy, I try to remember that someone else’s current success doesn’t make my future success less likely, procrastination does.

On a final, admission-type note, I like videos of sloths.


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