Awkward things.

A Rose By Any Other Name

on April 28, 2013


I have an overactive imagination. Like really. That or I’m straddling two worlds, this one and the land of Faerie. I’ve seen a unicorn. I have. Seriously I have. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that my whole life, I’ve been pretending to be somebody else, anyone that took my fancy at the time. When I was in primary school, I decided that I wanted to be called Apple Bell. Yeah, I bet you can guess that that one followed me to high school and back. I got laughed out of my English class when the memories resurfaced. I still think it’s a pretty cool name though. So you can see, I have imagination issues, and in general the world has been happy to hold me down and medicate me with reality. Until now.

Now, instead of forcing me to leave my childhood behind, Starbucks keep enabling me.  They ask me my name every time I go in. It’s like a dare. The past few times I’ve been honest; I have to look them in the eye after all. But yesterday I got cocky. My name? Yes Miss Starbucks lady, go ahead; ask me my name if you dare. Mwahaha! And then I said it. Tilly went out the window and instead I became Pixie, sprinkler of awesome. I was short, skinny, with a button nose and those slightly buck teeth that still manage to look pretty. I wore short dresses without looking slutty. Alright, I was Zooey Deschanel.

For that moment, I felt awesome, like I had robbed a bank and gotten away with it, except something less illegal and wrong; I mean, think of all those people investing their money in that bank. I stole THEIR money. Then it hit me; I wasn’t Zooey Deschanel, I was a big, fat liar, and my pants were, most definitely, on fire. I was a fraud, and they knew it. I could tell by the way they looked at me, like ‘Uh huh, whatever, *Pixie*, we’ve got your number sweetheart. And that was my name ninja-ing career over. The next time I go to Starbucks, I’m going to tell them my name, and I’m going to do it with a smile, because I may not be a Pixie, but I am a Tilly, and that is good enough for my coffee cup.


2 responses to “A Rose By Any Other Name

  1. anaopp says:

    I often give a fake name in Starbucks, but usually just because mine is too difficult to spell. #sociallyawkwardpenguin

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