thetillyvanilly

Awkward things.

All For Nothing

on April 29, 2013

Today I saw my ex-boyfriend. Well, maybe saw is a strong word. Let me rephrase that. Today I walked past a guy that looked faintly familiar; who, after a few minutes, I realised was my ex. Yeah. That happened. I’d always built it up in my head to be a sort of epic battle. We would glare at each other from the corners of our eyes and cross the street to avoid the rays of hatred emanating from the other’s skin. Ok, maybe epic is the wrong word to use, but it would be uncomfortable at least. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not disappointed. For someone so ‘spirited,’ I actually hate confrontation. It was just, I don’t know, weird.

He didn’t even look like him. He was himself wearing a really dodgy disguise. Now, I don’t wanna get embroiled in attacking evil exes. I’ve had my bitch fit, I’m over it. It just made me think. We’re all changing, all the time, and I know that’s pretty obvious, but I don’t think about it an awful lot. I’m not who I was yesterday, I never will be again. No-one is. So how can I hate someone or fear someone that I don’t even know anymore? The people in my past have no power over me now. It’s over. It’s done. I can’t even be scared of an imaginary Mexican standoff, complete with tumbleweed and huddling townsfolk, because I’ve seen the truth and it’s rather lame.

I wasted a lot of time worrying about nothing. Isn’t that always the way? You spend your whole life worrying about getting hit by a bus; then you fall down an open man hole and get eaten by alligators instead. Life is unpredictable and a bit mad, but it’s gonna be like that whether you worry or not. I don’t have to live in the past, so I’m not going to. I’m pretty damn lucky to have the amazing people I have in my life, and I’m going to spend my time appreciating them. Oh, and just because my ex-meet was a drive-by, that doesn’t mean that the first thing I did when I got indoors wasn’t look in the mirror. I won that battle. *Blows smoke from gun*

Advertisements

4 responses to “All For Nothing

  1. blackluminescence says:

    The same thing happened to me few days back.. there were a 100 things i wanted to say, and a million things i wanted to do… but in the end, I decided to be a bigger person and ignored him.(Also , because i was really scared of confrontation ;))

  2. Haha I always dread running into my ex and it hasn’t happened since..I always blew it up in my head to be a big confrontation but soon realized we probably wouldn’t even say a word to each other…Just like you said, people in the past don’t determine your present 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: