Awkward things.

Just Say No

on May 27, 2013


Should you date a bad boy, I hear you ask. Well, my short answer is no. The long, profanity laced and from the bottom of my heart answer is: NO! HELL NO! Step away from the rugged yet dashing, slighty smelly, potential serial killer right now young lady, before I drag you home! In one episode of HBO’s Girls, Hannah says of Adam,  “I know I always said he was murdery in a sexy way, but maybe he’s murdery in a murder way.” Here’s the thing – murder is not sexy; it’s just not. Murder is an actual real thing that happens, and I’m not saying that all bad boys are murderers, but murderers are more likely to be grubby and dishevelled and have those eyes that pierce right through you, you know, like actual knives might. I’m just saying…

Ok, I’ve been there. I’ve fallen for the creepy charm, I’ve completely ignored my friends’ concerns and I’ve holed myself up in my bedroom with said bad boy, whilst letting the world slip by outside my window. That’s what bad boys do, they make your world revolve around them and their (completely unfixable, FYI) issues. They steal your soul, they chew it up like those gross old men in Westerns and they spit it out into a bucket, because they Do. Not. Care. And you know what the scary thing is? If you haven’t seen it all before, you won’t see them coming. They don’t wear a sign, they may not be plastered in tattoos and they’re completely perfect until they’re not, and then you’re in quicksand.

I’m telling you all of this and I know, I just know that if you have a bad boy loitering on the edge of your life, begging with those beautiful eyes to be let in, you’re not gonna listen to me. Why should you? You don’t know me. I could be anyone. I could be that barista in Starbucks who insists on spelling your name wrong, Every. Single. Time. I could be the teacher that aways gave you a D for everything, because they hate you and why is geography even a subject anyway? I’m not those people, I’ve got your back on this. There are nice, non-murdery boys out there; probably reading Austen in a library or stroking a litter of kittens or building a treehouse/ballpit/bouncy castle just for you. All you need is to chillax and step away from the bad boy. Nobody needs to get hurt.


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