Awkward things.

It’s Just Hair. Get Over It.

on July 28, 2013

Here’s a fun fact for you: If you have any kind of body hair, (not counting your perfectly preened and blow-dried topknot,) you are ugly. That is a verified truth fact right there. Body hair is gross, unnatural and, unless you’re male, you’ll be burned at the stake for showing the slightest shadow of regrowth. Sucks to be a girl, don’t it?

Now, I always thought that what we did with our own bodies was our own business. Boy was I wrong. Demonstrating my point quite nicely is Amanda Palmer, queen of the weirdos and wife of the dream king himself, Neil Gaiman. Now, Miss Palmer took the stage at Glastonbury  and rocked it, (of course!) but the media didn’t see it that way and the tutters of society shook their heads in shame. Why? Because she has, (whisper it) hairy armpits. Burn the witch right? She must be a Satanist or something to engage in an act so occultish as not shaving. Or maybe, you know, maybe she doesn’t wanna shave. Maybe she likes it. Maybe, maybe, maybe. We could go on for days theorising, but you know what I think? It’s none of our business.

I don’t care what hair Amanda chooses to sport or where it grows from. I don’t care what size she is or what her eyebrows look like. She could be a freaking llama in a onesie and a fez for all I care, because she is her own person, (or llama,) and her appearance is her choice. I foolishly thought that Glastonbury was about the music and the mud. If we’re gonna complain, let’s rant about the ludicrous prices and the queue for portaloos. Those are the real issues after all.

So why is hair such a big thing? Why is the merest sighting of a patch of fuzz enough to get our knickers in a twist? Why do people care so damn much about other people’s hair? Why is society all up in my grill about my grooming routine? It’s seen as a given that as soon as stubble rears its pointy heads, we get rid of it. It’s weird not to, right? We are brought up in this world of naked Barbie dolls where everything is perfect and shiny, and if it isn’t, we make it so. Not blonde? Bleach. Not skinny? Diet. Not endowed? Boob job. Not completely hairless? Shave. No-one will like you if you don’t. If you are not the same as everybody else, then you are different and different is bad. Don’t stand out or you will be beaten down.

If you’re a man however, that’s cool, we’re good, carry on sir, have a nice day. Umm… Not fair. Why aren’t men hounded about their beauty regimes? The real question is: Why women? Are we living in the past? Have I just fallen into a time warp and forgotten to don my corset, or is this all a bit screwed up? Ok, so men do get a teensy bit of stick. I’m talking hairy backs and I’m gonna stop you right there. You, man with the hairy back who is reading this right now, you go for your life. I have no problem with your man fur, mostly because it’s none of my business, but also because I’ve had the pleasure of feeling a good back rug and given it the thumbs up. So now you know. I’m not saying let’s get our pitchforks out and catch us some fuzzy men folk; I’m saying let’s be reasonable, let’s be fair and let’s just all calm down.

The hair issue always goes hand in hand with the weight thang and the appearance malarkey. They dance a merry jig, jolly proud of the hatred they’ve created in young (and not so young) ladies. It’s not cool to tell someone that they’re ugly or fat or gross, and it’s less cool to tell someone that they’re worthless because of it. So grow your hair, shave your head, show your thighs, make friends with your cellulite, make a feature of the bump on your nose or the scar on your belly. Do whatever it takes to make you feel like you, and realise the real truth of it all: Beauty is what you think it is, not what the media fixes, crops, photoshops and shoves down your throat. Amanda Palmer is beautiful, and so are you.


11 responses to “It’s Just Hair. Get Over It.

  1. Abbi says:

    I wrote a very similar blog recently: Basically about how body hair “maintenance” doesn’t feel like a choice.

    • Heya! I just read your awesome post! 🙂
      It’s totally crazy, and I’d never thought to think about how I’d be cool about not wearing makeup, but a bit iffy (read: terrified) about showing a bit of non-conforming hairy bits. There should be a fuzzy flash mob or something!
      But yes. Society is in a bit of an odd place and I think that the only, (and scary) answer is to smother it with hair until it gets used to it!
      Thank you so much for reading!
      T xxx

  2. Cheer for speaking your mind.
    I’m all woman power and all of that, but I find hairy legs… or anything else for that matter…. to be itchy and uncomfortable!
    It’s definitely not fair that there are standards set and stereotypes that accompany them. Oh, you have underarm hair? DIRTY HIPPIE!
    On another note, have you heard of armpits for august? It’s womens way of “growing” (lolololol) awareness for ovarian cancer (or something like that). I’m interested to see if I spot any women participating so I can high five them into the next century!

    ❤ Sara

    • Ohmygosh! That’s sooo super cool! It’s like Movember for ladies!
      Though I did wear a range fake moustaches for November one year, all in the name of charity. Equality, right?
      I will totally look into that, thank you!
      And thanks for reading!
      T xxx

  3. Charlotte Sometimes says:

    Reblogged this on chemilyx and commented:
    This. 100000x over.

  4. Hi Tilly, such a good read – I’m so sick of this media created perception of beauty and you’ve inspired me to write something along the same lines for my next blog post as I had a bit of flack through school because I looked different! (Or just not a clone of everyone else perhaps..) could you please check out my blog? I’m quite new to WordPress and would love to hear any feedback you may have.. Thanks! Liv x

    • Heya! Thank you so much!
      Ooh, I’m super excited to read your next post. I had a quick nose around by the way and I love your blog!
      Also, your eyebrows are BEAUTIFUL! …I have a bit of an eyebrow obsession.
      But yes.
      Thanks for reading!
      T xxx

      • Thanks so much, that’s so kind!
        It’s funny, I actually used to get teased at school (right up to high school) about my eyebrows, but ever since they became popular in Vogue, I have received so many compliments! 🙂

  5. Smutler says:

    Men ARE ‘hounded’ about ‘beauty regimens’. I was teased about it for quite a while. (Still am, honestly.)

    Here’s my opinion on it all as a hairy 22-year-old man:

    • I love your article, thank you so much for linking!
      It is definitely a big problem.
      You should be proud of your hair, because it’s part of you and you are awesome.
      The sooner everyone can accept each other as they are, the happier we’ll all be!
      Thanks for reading!
      T xxx

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